Thursday, October 7, 2021

A Different Approach...


[ Because I thought it was cooler inside the circle of beads ]

I remember when I first heard the word 'Blog' I was like, what is that? [insert various concerned emojis here ] And like many other questions I asked back then I never got a straight answer. But, as a person that love answers and explanations that make sense I looked it up myself. Let's face it! Life will be pretty boring if you didn't dig a little.

The year was 2009 I was very intrigued about it and what exactly was the purpose of it. So, I came up with my own interpretation of it. To me it meant freedom for your fingers to express what your mind thought, what your heart felt, what your ears heard and what your lips wanted to say but all in writing form. For an introvert of my caliber that was like a pile of gold.

Many years went by until I finally had the opportunity to start experimenting with it and see if it was something I would enjoy. Before starting to practice and write a few sentences here and there, I was very involved in reading other bloggers content and was just fascinated by the captivating photography and the quality of it. The many things they were brave enough to share with the whole world, simple or not so simple. Perhaps the most fascinating part of it was that their posting didn't need no one else's permission but theirs only. 

Even though my blog started with only a few sentences long, and took me the better part of a week to write. It was simple, but optimistic: I wanted to share things that inspired me. I had this mental commitment to writing daily posts, despite of the audience of zero and eventually some people started to check it out and letting me know they liked what I was posting and to continue sharing. I remember the first time I received a comment on my fashion blog, I felt like I won an Oscar, lol!!! And as funny as it might sound, this is the reality of entrepreneurs we really celebrate any little thing like a mile stone. It is indeed a very special feeling. 

I have various blogs now, well three to be more exact. All of them are still in basic mode and I intent to keep it that way until I feel otherwise because I enjoy the rawness of them and the simplicity that I choose to share things with the world. All 3 of them including this one are very different in content but still integrated in intentions. 

Here are my blogs list:

-FASHION: alphonsinaofficial.com

-DECOR: ladosimpleblog.com

-PERSONAL: pompomsballoonsflowers.com

Writing has always brought me so much joy. And it still does, just in a different way. It's been bitter, sweet, high and low since I started blogging several years ago. 

It is something I don't intend to pass on to anyone else to help me with because this is my space to express myself when all the ears I called out to don't want to hear, when all the doors I have knocked for help don't want to open, simply because they choose not to help out.

I have lived a completely different reality from the one I was raised to live but I don't regret any of it because all of the rejections, the repetitive no, the you don't qualify either said with words or actions, the you might not be the best example for this crowd, the your problems are just that...yours, the no we wont help you because you don't seem humble enough to get our help, the you are not good enough, the you are not all that, the you just don't belong here, the perhaps you should take a long vacation back to your country, all of these garbage from people I thought I could rely on, has made me part of who I am today and I love what I see in the mirror each morning. I still master up the courage to keep showing up for myself with God's help each day. 

The simple thing about me is that I just don't like talking much, I can go days without talking if it's up to me. [This does not include singing from the heart, pretending I know what I'm doing and convinced that they neighbors like my singing] I don't even like talking on the phone! I find it so overwhelming and tiring... Unless is to learn or to accept constructive criticism, besides that I simply do not have the time for gossip or assuming about others. One honest thing I have to write here is that I will never be disrespectful back to the people I have received these hurtful words from because they have not lived in my shoes and they don't understand why I have made certain decisions to save myself from situations that escalated to a dangerous zone [Some of them really mean well but don't know how]. I still love them and respect them even if it's from a distance because talking about my problems and certain decisions made will put shame on someone else's name and that is not my way of life. 

There are so many fantastic subjects to talk about and simply nurture each other with quality conversation that it really blows my mind how many intelligent people fall back to the gutters with gossip, sarcasm, hateful conversations. It's in deed a sad situation in what appears to be such an advance world.

The things I have learned through out my life in a different country and the experiences I have lived are some beautiful, some mind blowing, some terrifying, some just plain hurtful but even though I have not found honest ears to simply hear me out without judgment or rude interruptions that perhaps I am lacking humility, I will always have the freedom of blogging and connecting with all who like to read my posts and keep it as simple and optimistic as I am inside and out.  

My focus have shifted because I am simply not the same person I was 8 or 10 years ago. My heart has been heavy for the better part of a decade. My goals are not even goals any more. I am just living each day at a time; living and waiting patiently and quietly for a better world soon to come. My enthusiasm and excitement waned because there are many other things I attend to on a daily basis and it became more of an obligation than a labor of love. Call me basic or whatever adorable adjective of your choice, but apparently some things never change. And for the first time in a while, I'm excited to return to that frame of mind.

This past year and a half I have learned more of who I am the good and the bad of my entire being and the beauty of finding out who I really have by my side, including family. I have discovered the beauty of unfriending people (including people I will respect for the rest of my life) that are not for me and to reach out to the people that are for me, for my well being, for my mental tranquility, for my inner peace. I've kept coming back to the importance of comfort, nostalgia, and doing what brings not necessarily happiness but contentment. I know I'm not alone in seeking those things out, So that's what I'm planning to lean into.

My inspiration will continue to be shared on all three of my blogs but I won't be posting daily blog content, as other elements of my business and other jobs I do have taken precedence over the past few months. Maybe once or twice a week or whenever I am inspired to share things with you. I really wished I could blog daily but that is just not realistic with my schedule. For now, this is what makes sense and what's motivating me to get back into blogging with a renewed sense of purpose. Perhaps more spontaneous, imperfect way. I want to take my time on pieces I'm passionate about, share things that are too long for social media, and explore different types of content. Fall is here! I am enjoying everything that the new season is bringing.

xoxo, 

Alphonsina ♥

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